Choosing Forgiveness: A Hard but Holy Journey

Forgiveness isn’t simple. It’s not a moment—it’s a process. And if you’ve ever been deeply hurt, you already know that forgiveness can feel impossible at times. But God never calls us to easy things—He calls us to holy things. And forgiveness is one of the holiest acts of healing we can ever offer.

Forgiveness isn’t about pretending it didn’t happen. It isn’t about excusing the person or welcoming unhealthy relationships back into your life. It’s about choosing to hand over your right to revenge and letting God be the Judge. It’s about choosing peace over bitterness, healing over pride, and love over resentment.

It’s not weak to forgive. In fact, it takes incredible strength to lay down your anger and reach for grace. But that’s what Jesus did for us—and what He invites us to do for others.

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Why Forgiveness Matters

When we hold on to bitterness, we become bound by the very thing that hurt us. Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping the other person gets sick. It clouds our mind, hardens our heart, and steals the joy that God wants to pour into our lives.

Forgiveness is for you, not for them. It’s about releasing yourself from the chains of the past and stepping into the light of freedom. God wants your heart whole, and forgiveness is one of the ways He begins to heal what was broken.

As Ephesians 4:32 tells us:
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

He isn’t asking us to do something He hasn’t already done for us—over and over again. That’s what makes forgiveness so sacred.

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How to Begin the Process

Here are some gentle, intentional steps toward forgiveness:

• Acknowledge the pain. You can’t heal what you won’t name. Allow yourself to feel it. Write it down. Cry it out. God is near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18).
• Ask God for help. You don’t have to do this alone. Ask Him to soften your heart and give you His perspective.
• Pray for the person who hurt you. This isn’t easy—but it’s powerful. Jesus said, “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5:44). It’s hard to hate someone you’re earnestly praying for.
• Release it daily. Forgiveness isn’t a one-time decision—it’s a choice you may have to make every single day. Keep laying it at the feet of Jesus.
• Seek support. A trusted friend, pastor, or Christian counselor can help walk with you as you process the layers of pain.

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A Prayer for Forgiveness

Father, I come to You carrying hurt I don’t know how to let go of. I want to forgive, but I’m still angry. I’m still aching. Teach me how to forgive the way You forgive—fully, freely, and with grace. Help me release the weight of bitterness and choose peace instead. Remind me that justice belongs to You, not me. Give me the strength to walk forward in healing, even when it’s hard. Heal my heart, Lord. Make me new. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

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You don’t have to forgive overnight. You don’t even have to feel ready today. But let this be your first step—a small one, maybe even a shaky one—but a step in the direction of freedom.

Because forgiveness isn’t about forgetting. It’s about becoming whole again.

And God—He’s so ready to walk with you through it all.